#26 - (Solo) 3 Priceless Lessons from Backing Myself

Dean:

All who cross this bridge beware for what lies beyond may not be what you expect, but exactly what you need. I say this because once you step through that door of entrepreneurship, there is no going back. Not that you can't quit, you can and many do, but rather that it changes you forever. It changes how you see the world, makes you question how things are and what's really possible with your life. And most importantly, it forces you to grow in ways that you never expected at the beginning.

Dean:

And today, I'm gonna take you through three of the most priceless lessons that I've learned from backing myself. Plus a little bonus at the end for good measure. Recording this live to you from Egypt, and it may come as no surprise that I'm sunburned. My skin plus sun, not so good. I need to improve my SPF application.

Dean:

But alas, I'm still making progress with work worth doing. What's happening right now? Well, let me tell you. We have five guys, five brave souls who have decided to change their life. The way in which I am helping them is helping them go through the process of designing their offer, meaning what exactly is it they do, and then helping them go through the process of acquiring clients.

Dean:

Now this is varying for these guys. Some of them have social media experience. Some of them have branding experience. Some of them have fitness and mental health experience. It doesn't matter.

Dean:

The formula is the exact same. It's the same way I grew my business to 18 clients and 10 ks per month. And the reason I'm doing it is giving these people who have put their trust in me what I received on my way up. Only better. I'm filling the gaps with them on the things that I wish I knew and I wish I was told far far earlier.

Dean:

And believe me, let me tell you this. I am getting immense satisfaction from already seeing their progress. Like I'm literally seeing in these guys. I'm seeing myself from the beginning when I had my dreams of changing my life and setting aside this job that I just had no love for. I see that in them and I'm just so excited to keep working with them.

Dean:

If you want to apply to this, I am taking on a limited number of clients. I want to do this right. I want to make sure that everyone who works with me does get what they want. And so I'm not going to do this en masse, not yet at least as it exists now. It's very, very personal.

Dean:

So if you want to apply to it, I'll explain how later. So let's dive in to the three priceless lessons that I've learned from backing myself. The first one is your fears, they're never as bad in reality. Now let's imagine you're at year one or maybe even year zero. You might be thinking things like, oh, I'd love to start that, but what are my friends gonna think?

Dean:

Oh, what if my boss finds out and then I get fired and have no income? What if the idea doesn't work and I just don't get any clients? Or maybe you've already started and now you're thinking, what if all my clients leave me tomorrow? What if my bank balance goes to zero? What if this, this and this?

Dean:

And the list just goes on and on and on. And as a guy who had a very treacherous first and second year in my journey in entrepreneurship, I can confidently tell you that those fears that you're playing out in your mind, even if they come to pass, they actually won't be as bad in reality. For example, I was terrified when I would even think about posting about my business online. I used to think, fuck. What is everyone online gonna think of me?

Dean:

I'm gonna look stupid. People are gonna laugh at me. I don't know what I'm talking about. The usual stuff. Like, this is something that will go through everyone's mind who starts a business and who posts about it.

Dean:

A lot of those same people who I used to worry about are now DM ing me, asking me how I did it. Seriously. It's not a joke. And the reality is when I did post nothing happened. Nothing happened.

Dean:

People would probably scroll by my Instagram feed, by my LinkedIn feed, and they'd just be like, oh Dean's doing that good for him, move on. And a lot of the people who it did matter to would reach out and message me and say oh hey I can help you out or oh hey I know somebody who's doing this or oh I know a way in which I can connect you with someone. So it actually didn't have the negative effect that I had previously thought it would. In reality, it was positive. And if somebody was laughing at me, I don't know about it.

Dean:

They didn't laugh at me publicly anyway. And the point is here, is that all these things that are stopping you making progress aren't even that bad anyway. And they probably won't even happen to begin with. But if they do, they're not going be that bad. And there's so many of them.

Dean:

There's the posting on Instagram. There's the telling people you're going to do it. There's the will my boss find out. There's the will the business itself actually work. And the reality is, if you're picking a business that already works, like the guys, they're building an online coaching business, they're building a social media business, like these work.

Dean:

There's a need for those things. And so the only way they won't work is if you don't work. It's not that the business is broken, it's not that that model is bad, it's that you fucked it. That's just the truth of it and it's kind of a bit of a, you might say hustle culture mentality, but when you strip it back like it is the truth. If you're picking something that works, the only reason it won't work is if you quit.

Dean:

That's just the truth. It might take you six months, It might take you six years. But it does work, and it will work. And if the reason you're doing it is strong enough, you'll continue. That's just the truth.

Dean:

And I always worried about would my business work. And in reality my first and second year were absolutely shocking. I switched business model from a lease agreement to a management agreement de risking my business. And I stressed for months if it would even work. And the funny thing is it's not even this big dramatic moment where I'm like oh my god it's worked.

Dean:

The reality is in those shitty times I just persevered and just figured it out. It was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. And in reality what I've realized lately is that that moment never came. It's only when I've kind of taken this pause, slowed down and looked over my shoulder, that I've realised holy shit, my life is crazy good right now. And so all those fears that are muddled up in your head, of which there are probably many, they're all easily overcome in reality.

Dean:

Again, if you want what's at the end enough. If you've ever seen me harp on on Instagram, you will know exactly what my why was. Fucking hated sales, and I wanted to travel the world. Pretty simple. My misery in sales was strong enough to make me persevere through that.

Dean:

And every single person I speak to in their job says the same shit. I don't want to do this for the rest of eternity. And why would you if it's making you miserable? There's other ways to get a few Bob. Right.

Dean:

Ramble over there. Went on a bit of a tangent. Let's go to point two. Point two from alright. So actually, in fact, let me round that one off.

Dean:

Your fears are never as bad in reality. Okay? Write that one down. Second priceless lesson that I've learned from backing myself is that you make your own look. Now, this is an obvious one.

Dean:

But it's these lessons that are often the most obvious that only really land with you when you experience and understand them yourself. When you're an employee at a company, you can't really make your own look, right? You know, you're kind of constrained to what parameters you're given by your boss or your company or your employer or whatever. Whereas when you step out side that paradigm into what you are doing yourself, you really have a degree of control, a degree of influence that you just do not have in a job. Let me give you an example.

Dean:

I was seven months into my property business. I hadn't got any fucking deals. I was shitting myself. Genuinely shitting myself. I thought I'd have six, seven deals at this point.

Dean:

Now this is a product of the very difficult rental market in London. It's quite a challenging thing to break into with the strategy that I was bringing to the table. Long story, won't get into it. But I walked in to this agency one day and what happened was a big eye opener. So I had seen this property online and usually what my approach was was, oh, I'll pick up the phone and call them.

Dean:

But I was like, you know what? Right. Let me see who is selling this property. I saw them. It was a place called Homefinders.

Dean:

Shout out Homefinders if you're listening. And I was very nervous walking in there. Very nervous. Very scared of the idea, but I just admitted to myself, get in there, man. Just get in there and look stupid.

Dean:

Lo and behold, when I walked in there, shook hands with the owner, had a conversation with him, told him that I was trying to build my business and secure my freedom with this. Hey, presto. I got my first and what ended up being second, third and fourth deal. Pretty good, right? Now in that moment I could have decided just to call him, just to try and pick up the phone, but instead I walked in despite my fear and things just happened for me.

Dean:

And it's small little forks in the road like this small little decisions small little moments when you push through that little fucking fear that you have and just put yourself out there and things just happen. I'll give you another example. I have another one written down here for you. So when I met my first investor, and this is a pretty unique way of meeting someone, I would say. So this guy ended up staying at my Airbnb, And I ended up speaking to his partner about potentially booking directly with us.

Dean:

And then I got on the phone with the partner and ended up having a conversation. I said, Hey, look, if you book direct with us, we'll save you a few bob and we can split it down the middle and both have a bit of extra money. It was a long booking, know, if you get a month booking on Airbnb, you know, you're sitting pretty. And I told him my story. I just told him what I'm building and what I'm trying to do.

Dean:

And lo and behold, he was a keen investor, always looking for business opportunities, always looking to back hungry people. What happens next? He ends up funding the next two projects and also handing me his property to manage. Shout out Dom if you're listening. And again, this is just down to that micro decision where I decided to tell him exactly why I was doing what I was doing instead of just saying hey do you want to book my property directly?

Dean:

Small little key moments that have such a profoundly big impact on your outcomes. Give you another example on you make your own look point two. Last one. Getting another client simply by doing something that I didn't want to do that day. So one evening I was due to go to a networking event.

Dean:

I had booked it, I said I'd go meet some property people and I really didn't wanna go. I honestly thought these events were fucking bullshit anyway, and everyone's just trying to get a deal and clamber over each other and just, you know, it was a bit of a bit of a shark infested place. I didn't really like them, and everyone felt very disingenuous. But I was like, you know what? Fuck it.

Dean:

I'll just stroll up and shake a few hands and, you know, try and connect with people and see if I meet anyone I do like. And so I got there and, you know, through a few conversations, I ended up meeting what turned into a client. He said, I've got a property. I need somebody like you. Will you work with me?

Dean:

I was like, Yeah, I will. And at this point in that part of my journey, like one deal was big to me. I walked home from that event like doing a little skip. I was delighted. Now one deal to me now isn't a big deal.

Dean:

As big of a deal. Again, your problems and your goals and how impactful certain things are change over time and change in year two, three, year four. But at that point one deal was like the biggest deal in the world to me. And I made my own luck by simply deciding to go and do something that I really didn't want to do. So walking into Homefinder's agent, trying to speak to what would be my first investor to get him to book directly and then telling him my story, and then simply going to that networking event that I really didn't want to go to and just showing up.

Dean:

So you really do, when you start on this journey, make your own look. There's just no two ways about it. You put yourself in situations, you put yourself in enough scenarios, you'll eventually start to pick things up. It's not going to work every time, but if you're doing it more and more, it might go from working one in 10 times to two. And the two might be the difference in you quitting your job this year or next year.

Dean:

Or quitting it at all. So remember that. You make your own look when you're on this journey. Third, let's move on. We've done two, let's do three.

Dean:

And then don't forget we have a bonus as well. The third one is, you have to pay to play. Right? Now let me tell you what I mean by that. Every single person that you see online has paid for their success in one of two ways, either with their money or with their time.

Dean:

You have to pay with one. That is the price of getting in. You might remember me mentioning that I bought my course and mentorship at Progressive, Progressive Property. Now, I could have tried to build my property business alone, but in reality I didn't have a breeze what I was doing. So what did I do?

Dean:

I learned from people who were far ahead of me, who had exactly what I wanted, and I paid with my money. Now, on the other side of that, I could have paid with my time and tried to figure it out, tried to figure out all this strategy that I had no idea about. One of them has to give. I have to pay with one. And for me, when I look back at this period, when I spent $15 on all in on that mentorship, overpriced by the way, no offense Progressive Property, but it is overpriced.

Dean:

And I now look back and say, well, I wouldn't have had such a hunger in me had I not spent that. So you might say maybe they did me a solid by charging that much. I don't know, depends on what side the fence you fall. But there is an immense amount of value in having skin in the game. I don't know if I would have kept going had I not had enough skin in the game.

Dean:

It was getting hard because I was like fuck, I gotta make this money back! And create the life I want. So it was dual approach I guess for me, know, I wanted to make all that money back but also to get my life, My life that I wanted. The life that I so desperately craved and the life I wanted to get away from. So there was an immense amount of value in having that skin in the game.

Dean:

And the skin in the game can be your money or it can just be your time. You can invest two years and you might eventually pick up the same know how. It's up to you. It's up to you. Because right now if you're starting or if you're in early stages you might not have the information that you need.

Dean:

You might have a knowledge gap. You might have a resource gap. You might have a process gap. And that gap can be filled by time, by consuming information at your own pace, or it can be paid by money by acquiring that skill, acquiring that information from someone who has it. For example with me, I've recently joined VOICS and the lads over there.

Dean:

Shout out to Darren and Tom. And I've spent my money with those guys because I back what they're doing and I also want to build a business like they've built. That's what I'm hungry for. I'm hungry to build a business that truly can help people at scale and I'm starting small. But I don't know all there is to know about a content business and about having an online coaching business.

Dean:

Not yet. But I'm working on it and I'm prepared to spend my money to get it. And realistically, if I'm charging for coaching, who am I to charge for that if I'm not prepared on my side to spend my money on things that are going to improve my outcomes? So you have to pay to play. That's lesson three.

Dean:

Also, want to add, if you are one of the people who is similar to the group that I am coaching now, maybe you're aware that you don't want to do your job for the rest of eternity. You have dreams of traveling as and when you please and skiing in the Alps like one of the lads in the group does and traveling to places that you haven't been able to see due to the restrictions you have with your work, right? If you are one of those people and you're just kind of on the fence, really sure where to start or how to start, book a call with me and book it now, because I'll tell you why. I am taking on more people from a coaching perspective and the reason I'm doing it so hands on is because I want to be able to provide the things that I felt were missing in my mentorship so that the people who come and work with me can fast track their progress and not go through as many hardships as I did. And so I want to provide that proximity.

Dean:

And so in doing that I'm speaking to more and more people who are on the fence. And I want to do that because it helps me learn. It helps me learn about what's going through your mind maybe, or helps me improve my coaching. And so there's no sale. I'm not going to try and sell anything to you.

Dean:

It is an exchange of you coming to me for me learning as much as you learning. So if you want to book that, there's a link in the bio. I'm not sure how many of those are going to be left. I'm not going do them forever, especially as I take on more clients. So if you want to just have a quick chat, free advice, book one.

Dean:

Right, I told you there was going to be a bonus. So the bonus one is a nice little punchy, how should I describe this, memorable one I hope. I hope it's memorable to you. So the bonus one is, the fourth bonus priceless lesson from backing myself is, you'll figure it out. Seriously, you will figure it out.

Dean:

Now there's so many points that I can look to on my journey when I think about times when I wanted to quit, times when had you told me before I started that I was going to go through, I probably wouldn't have gone through them. I probably would have said nah do know what, I'll stick in a job. But the reality is when you're thrust into a situation that you would have had nightmares about before, you actually enter this new gear. You know, you can just do what is required. And yes it'll be scary and you'll probably worry and you'll have a wobble, but once you get over that and you quiet your emotions and you can just look at what needs to be done, what is required from you to solve this situation, you can do it.

Dean:

All the things you're worried about, you'll figure them out anyway. But I'll tell you when you won't figure them out. By staying still. You can only figure these things out if you move. Keep moving.

Dean:

Keep going. And again, it's that age old saying, if your why is strong enough, you'll bear almost any how. Believe that was Victor E. Frankel, if not Nietzsche. One of the two.

Dean:

Someone way smarter than me. And it's just true. When I was in the wars and I was 40 ks down and seven, eight, nine months in, I was all over the place. And then I got fired from my job. You know, that is like the worst possible scenario.

Dean:

But when the situation calls, we all have an immense amount of resourcefulness inside us. That's the truth. If you're in there yourself, you would have figured it out too. So I am no different to you. That is the whole point of everything that I'm saying is that I am just a regular dude who was worried, anxious, shot my pants, but I still figured this shit out and now I don't have to work anymore, genuinely.

Dean:

My business requires me maybe two or three hours a week. And the reason is I'm not trying to scale it anymore. I'm trying to help other people. So just remember that you will figure this out no matter what it is. So to round things off, I want to just give you something to think about.

Dean:

So we've done three lessons that I've learned, priceless lessons from back of myself, plus a bonus and they are: Your fears are never as bad in reality. You make your own luck. You have to pay to play. And the bonus, you'll figure it out. Think about it this way.

Dean:

In five years, you'll either be thriving in the life that you've built, or wondering why you're stuck in the same place. You're planting seeds now, whether you like it or not. You're planting seeds for your life to be exactly as it is now in five years, maybe with some slight adjustments, maybe a 5% raise increase each year. Or you're planting seeds to live a wildly different life in the future. And believe me, if you do follow through with this, you'll a, learn all the lessons that I've just shared with you now, and b, you'll realize all the insane possibility that is on the other side.

Dean:

Keep going. Much love, my friend. Ciao.

#26 - (Solo) 3 Priceless Lessons from Backing Myself
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